Onward and Upward, 2009!

Lava on the sea

2009-12-05T17:13:00.000-08:00

It was sunny.

Sky and the waters were blue.

I remember being in a motor boat. Don't remember being windy. But it was a fun day, at least before molten lava started pouring out the sea.

The lava didn't flow in a spread manner. It flowed out like a river from a small hole on a nearby mountain out in the sea. The river like lava went south-west. It was so quick and so fast. And none of us had time to be prepared for it.

My brother was in the sea along with some other people. The boat i was in sped away like the wind. Couldn't shout out to my bro in time. I don't know what happened to him. I wanted to tell him to go under the water because the lava seemed to be moving above the water surface.

The lava was following us. Some of it got onto my glasses. But strangely enough, it didn't get burned. It felt like someone throwing a pudding on one's glasses.

Next thing I knew, I was on land... On a fast jeepney going into some town. The lava was still following us. We outran the molten thing. In one of the houses we went into, I saw red hot water going out of the bathroom's shower.

My friends were talking.. They were sitted on a wooden chair. Some were standing. Saw something red glowing from them.. like a red eye.

Thinking about my brother, I fell on my knees and cried, and prayed to God that they be spared, that they live and be alright....

The dream ended there. And I did actually pray in that dream.

The feeling was just so real... so intense...

De Ja Vou

2009-12-04T03:33:00.000-08:00

It's funny how life runs and turns. What you did in the past, you can't escape from it in the future. You can lie, cheat, deceive, steal and think that you can get away with it all when in truth, you just can't.

I think deja vou can also be linked to what my father would call as law of reciprocity.

It's just funny, that what I did to an old acquaintance before is happening to me now. And I find it weird because, I get to relive what it felt like and how it felt to that person since I am now the reactor or receiver of what I did before.

I guess more are to come in my lifetime. I haven't been a good boy in the past =(

Reconnecting....

2009-11-11T04:40:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling rather sleepy and tired while writing this one down. Haven't had much sleep since the C shift took over my schedule. Actually, it's a mixture of B, A , normal and C shifts mixed in 1 month. My medulla seems to have a small burning sensation. Must be because of insufficient time with my fluffy and cozy companion: the pillow.

I am glad, and happy... that I get to chance to reconnect or communicate once again with people or friends I got acquainted with for the longest time. It may be a small text message, or chat message, but all the same, communication's been re-established.

During my stay in Kforce / AMKOR, I've learnt (and am still learning) to value life, the people I am with, and have been with. It's not everyday that you meet someone so energetic in a workplace such as ours, or someone who can make you laugh at the silliest jokes. Or sometimes, even at the simple truths. It's not everyday that there are people who make you feel how important you are to them, how good you can make them feel just by being there... just by being yourself. Others, they're happy when one works hard... But then of course, there comes a day when you can't please everybody.

I'm nearing my 27th year, and I have so far constant connection with my bes, my bro, my sis, my dad, a little with my mom but there seems to be an improvement. Friends in previous workplaces, in different places... Exs, acquaintances, chatmates....

There are some whom I am unable to get thru anymore... Or perhaps, I haven't tried hard enough. You see, I'm not an angel as others perceive me to be... I also have grown my own set of horns over the years. It's hard to get rid of them, but ..... faith in God works wonders =) And because of my past actions, I've been shut off from their world. Kinda like, a firewall has been set up.

I'm glad btw, that my parents are still with us. Mom teaches us the value of trust, of respect. Dad teaches us or advises us on what life is.

I can't believe that I've been able to write down this many even though I'm tired. :D Must be because of the delicious tuna rice my sister served me tonight.

Gonna get some rest now. Tomorrow, I'll be meeting up with my ex. Gonna return something pretty important :D Tomorrow, I'll be enjoying once again the bus ride to Sucat. The cool breeze as one is on the bus never ceases to make me happy.

Dinner with Family

2009-10-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

Had a feast with my family. We ate fried chicken (bought from the vendor which was on the opposite side of Iglesia ni Cristo church in Angono), Selecta Ice cream (Chocolate Truffle, which was my God so good!!), and drank Novellino Strawberry passion. Now, this red wine only costs P203.00 in SM Taytay, low alcohol content of 4.5% and it's rather sweet and good to the taste when drank with ice.

It's sad though coz big bro and sis-in-law weren't able to make it due to heavy traffic from Taytay Market (which was very heavy upto Muzon even at night).

Reason why we had this feast was to celebrate a few happenings:
1) I was nominated as an employee of the quarter by my mother company. I am very happy, and glad, coz I was nominated by my officemates. And hard work paid off. It's a first, and I'm very happy about it =)

2) Just assigned as the Lead Analyst for one of the customer of our client. It's not the easiest customer, believe me. But, it's gonna be a challenge. And, my TL definitely believes in what I can do. So, I'm going to give it my all.

3) Mom's hard work has finally paid off.

4) Big Bro is gonna have a baby boy soon! And I'm gonna be one big happy uncle when that day comes. hehehe

5) We're alive. All of this won't have meaning if we're dead.

I'm just glad that after all I've been through in my life, I'm still here... Eating with my family, laughing with 'em and my friends... able to work and feel happiness, sorrow, pain, joy, etc...

It's just good to be alive ! =)

Eye in The Sky

2009-08-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

Took this picture last Monday, August 24, 2009: which was a few days after my bro's wedding... I took a picture using my cellphone of which I thought was the Mt. Makiling. After checking the image on my cp, I was surprised to see that it resembled an eye.

A few minutes ago, the image was flashed into my mind... and then, the name of the song that related to it: Eye in the Sky.

Dont think sorrys easily said
Dont try turning tables instead
Youve taken lots of chances before
But Im not gonna give anymore
Dont ask me
Thats how it goes
Cause part of me knows what youre thinkin

Dont say words youre gonna regret
Dont let the fire rush to your head
Ive heard the accusation before
And I aint gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in your eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing

Chorus:
I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I dont need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

Dont leave false illusions behind
Dont cry cause I aint chnaging my mind
So find another fool like before
Cause I aint gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the signs are deceiving

(chorus)

The link of the site is: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/alan+parsons+project/eye+in+the+sky_20005307.html

I can kinda relate to the lyrics :D

Too quiet

2009-08-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

Man, the house is sooooo quiet... No wonder mom leaves the house frequently...

Miss big bro... married Last August 22, 2009.

Too quiet... wish I could talk to someone.... Although kinda repetitive, but I wish I could share my thoughts, feelings with someone....

Here I am again... browsing thru social sites in the hope of finding that person who can fill the half part of me.. and then, my heart and mind are in the same feud as they have been years ago. Haven't I learned enough? Haven't I learned anything yet?

Reason why I go to such sites is because I feel loneliness... at this point, emptiness...

Missing so many...

2009-05-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

I kinda feel different these past few days. A bit down here and there. Like the title says, I am missing quite a many people here and there.

For one, there is this person whom I had this feeling for a long time (several years). It's quite weird (even I find it weird) that I still miss this person or I get depressed thinking of this person even though we only met once. But, that's what I'm feeling right now. I miss him so much. I wish and pray that I get to see him one more time.

Let's see... then, there's this friend of mine. I did something that I didn't want to but did anyway because .. well it's complicated. Bad thing is, our communication got severed. I miss the jokes, the talks, the stories that we shared. He was one of those people who believed that I had what it takes to take on a different path. To do something different. Even though before I didn't believe in myself that I could do it.

My dad. He's abroad working. Hope and pray that he's fine and that he comes home safely.

I guess I'm also feeling somewhat blue because my bro is gonna get married in a few months time. I'm happy for him and his gf. I am happy for both of them! But sometimes, you know... I guess it goes when the person you've been with is going somewhere else.

My ex. Even though things didn't go between us, part of me still misses the companionship that we shared. Sometimes I wonder if the love that was relayed to me was genuine. Sometimes, I just wonder... Sometimes, it just comes to mind that I want to shout at this person and say "I hate you!" But then again, sometimes you just have to let things go....

My ex-ex. Now this one, is really different. We're still friends after the break up. Played billiards during the short stay here in Philippines, watched StarTrek, walked a few kilometers to get to Shakeys before we got to eat there. I'm not complaining! (If you're reading this.. hehehe) . Anyway, it was nice to have experienced that.

My grandma. It's been a couple of months after she died. The sweetest, dearest and nicest person I've been with since high school. She took care of me and my brother during our high school days up until college (before my parents came back from Bahrain). I still have dreams of her from time to time, feeling sad in my dream and as if I wanted to cry in my dream... I miss her, the stories we shared, the wisdom she imparted, the techniques she applied in her work, in life, etc. She was an awesome woman. She is with flaws, but hey... who isn't. Like they say, you only realize the importance of the person when they're no longer there.... =0(

My ex-gf. Still remember breaking up with her in a local fast food chain in StaLu. I was young back then. Foolish and stupid. She's going to get married soon, and for that I'm happy for her. She finally gets to settle down with the person she loves. Hope to have a cup of coffee with her sometime.

I'm feeling sleepy now... Gonna shut my eyes...

Dream...

2009-05-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

"I Love the feeling that I can trust you"

"It's a gift that is given to us.... for free..."

I think this dream had more of a movie-type setting. The characters seemed alien like, especially the girl who said those lines above.... She seemed to have forgotten the guy whom she told those lines to, but was able to remember the enemy who held her forcibly on her wrist. She let out a big yell which of course did not do much...

Restaurants and Places Visited 2009

2009-04-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't visited much yet due to budget constraint. I will be updating this blog every now and then so I can remember the places memorable for me. :D For this year 2009, here are the places and restaurants I visited:

1) Pizza Hut
-- My siblings and I (especially my brother) would go to this resto with his GF whenever we have enough cash and when we feel like chilling out in SM Taytay. The caesar salad's good to the taste (and is a good appetizer since it has fiber), their carbonara dish has just the right creaminess and isn't dry to the taste. For me, I love their cream of mushroom better than the cream of corn. Bes and I usually include this soup whenever we eat at Pizza Hut. As for pizza, I'm satisifed with the pizzas that the Hut has to offer. But mostly, we just order family supreme.
-- We would often talk and joke about the things that happened to us.

2) IceBergs
-- This I first experienced with my officemates from Kforce (c/0 mareng Josa). Tenderloin steak was what I ordered and it was delish.... Mexican Tacos on the side and Kehlua for dessert. They were a lot for my little stomach to handle so I ended up with a round belly after lunch :D I took Bes and my sis Cess earlier to this place. It was nice to share the desserts with them :) There's one in Robinsons Galleria, almost near to the Burger King fastfood.
-- I wouldn't mind eating here again as the food's tasty.

3) Anawangin

Life is like a wheel

2009-04-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

I've been eating out a lot with my bestfriend, my mom and my sibling these past couple of days / weeks. And, it's really really nice! The bonding moments or times that I share with them is totally priceless and can't be bought with whatever worldly treasure that I may ever have in this or another lifetime.

I told my brother yesterday that what we are now is far better than what we were before. In the past couple of years, we struggled hard to make ends meet. Debts were juggling here and there, and back then our family would be in the brink of a heated argument. We even experienced eating only long string beans, and what we call as 'isaw'. Back then, we also couldn't afford to buy a sack of rice, or even half a sack.

When I was working in my previous company, I would always bring packed lunch to work. I couldn't also afford to buy new clothes nor the simple things that could help get me pampered. Everything was simply tight-budgeted. It wasn't simple. It really wasn't.... What made the situation difficult was also the different thoughts that entered my mind during that time. I guess for some of the time, my thoughts were not nice nor clear.

A lot has changed, and from my point of view, I'm not the same as I used to be. I can't explain it, but I guess it's also part of growing up.

With everything that has happened to me, I'm just glad that I'm still alive. That God was with us when we were going thru the toughest times of our lives, and that He still is with us till now.

Refreshing Treat

2009-04-26T07:02:00.001-07:00

It's just such a good feeling to relax during weekends. Yesterday (Saturday), my brother , Bes and I went to Pizza Hut to celebrate on the blessing that was imparted to us. Today (Sunday), Bes, I and my younger sister went to Icebergs and we allowed our stomachs and mouths to feast on the delicious food (namely carbonara, pesto penne, mango peach parfait, oreo brownies split and mexican tacos).that was served to us. It was quite expensive, but all the same it was worth it! Our stomachs made us look like we were pregnant. hehehe. But, the bonding experience was priceless.

Can't wait for the pictures to be uploaded. :D

Missing Lola

2009-04-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

This was a few days before (Apr 21, 09).....

I don't know how to start... It's just that I miss my grandma.... =0(

I decided to take the day off. Although I had a good dose of sleep last night, I didn't feel like going to work today. Besides, I need to let my arm heal. I think it got a minor fracture after I lifted up a gallon of water yesterday. Also, I have a back ache =0(

About my grandma, she was a very amazing and wonderful person and perhaps, one of the elders that I cherish and love. She took care of me and my bro during our high school days and helped our family when we were financially in trouble. Trouble as in, we had a lot of collectors here and there and we didn't know where they all came from or how they came to know about us... Some mysteries will never be revealed, I guess.. Trouble when we didn't have enough money for our schooling... Trouble when my parents came home from Bahrain and they had a lot of baggage and there was simply nowhere to put them. She decided to have a house built at the back of our main house.

It just bring tears to my eyes everytime I recall the days when she was still with us. She was alive, smiled a lot and had good health before she went to her own home. Her going back to her own home is a different story though.

She died on August 15, 2008 and her body was buried on August 22,2008. Even after so many months have passed, I still feel sad when I think of her.

Fun at SM TAYTAY

2009-03-14T05:23:00.001-07:00

Related to my previous blog (Big Bucket), Bes and I had a great time at SM TayTay. To start it off, we ate at pizza hut with my bro (he had to leave earlier because he had to go to Makati). Anyway, we played that gizmo in Quantum where you play with your hands (you can also use your feet or knees but I didn't do that ;p ) It was really great and then we sang some songs. Didn't cost us that much to have a great time ! :)

She treated me to Dairy Queen (we shared the big cup that she bought) and we played the Percussion Freaks (where you play with artificial drums). I believe PF is located at WOF? I'm not sure though as memory sometimes leaks heavily like a dripping faucet. We used to play that one back when we were in college along with my barkadas. Those guys, my gosh, were top-notchers in that game (believe me!:)

I'm getting better with the hoops as I scored like 112. Hehe. Happy? Of course I am!

Hope we can get to go to CME on the next payday. I miss swimming and I miss the water (although I do take a bath everyday). This season is quite humid even at night. In any case, my body needs the extra exercise.

Btw. Bes said that the next treat at Big Bucket is on her. Hehehe. Won't miss that for anything! :) Bes, thanks in advance. Love ya beshy! :)

Big Bucket

2009-03-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

Aching Back

Stressed Shoulders

Lamig

Just a few of the terms that I'm sure everyone experiences every now and then: whether it's work in an office or simply playtime with friends. During my first couple of weeks with Amkor, I didn't experience stress as much as I do now. So, I decided to give my body a break.

Went to a couple of weeks old massage outlet in SM Taytay with my Bes. She was sharing how badly her back ached and so we decided to try the Big Bucket (Promise, they don't call it that for nothing). The service, which took 1 hour and 20 mins, was great (considering that the price was 500 bucks). The lady masseurs were great as well. I wouldn't be saying that it was if their service wasn't. The end-result: we really felt sleepy afterwards as if our bodies were like punched a hundred times over. The good thing about it was, when I got home and went to sleep, my body was releasing heat and I sweat quite a lot. It felt really good!

We'll be going for another round perhaps before the end-of-the-month. I highly recommend this place ! :)

Btw, there was a free ginger tea along with the package that we took. How about that for service! :)

Saikou no Kataomoi

2009-01-07T06:32:00.000-08:00

I heard this song from Animax's anime ColorCloud Palace: a story of a young lady who taught an immature Prince how to become mature. The story was really nice: had a love story, action, adventure, friendship, and what added more to that nice touch was this song: Saikou No Kataomoi.

I Like to listen to this song every once in a while. Tune in to this site: Gill Fantasy

Bday Party ni Kapatid na Estrabo Jan 3

2009-01-04T07:22:00.000-08:00

Sarap ng inuman kagabi! Burpday kasi ni kapatid na Estrabo at nandun ung mga main na mangiinom ng batch PT16: sina Lyle, Mike F., Nephi at Deyo. Kukulit ng mga litrato namin! Hehehe. Sarap ng kwentuhan , asaran. Tapos, share share ng mga experiences sa work, ung mga nalalamang mga chismish, atbp. 5AM na ako nakauwi nun. Tapos, 1PM po ako kinabukasan nagising.

Pwedeng ma-view mga litrato sa myspace account >> ash_cool19

Thanks thanks thanks!

2009-01-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

2008 has been a very trying year for our family (and especially for me). It was a year wherein I had to think not only for myself but also for my family, wherein debts had to be settled, wherein heavy words were exchanged, wherein hearts had to be healed and broken and healed once more, wherein I had to decide whether I should stay in my previous company or not.
It wasn't an easy year. But, I'm thankful that 2008 came to pass.

First and foremost, one of the things that I'm thankful about is that I'm still alive. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing this down right now. For that, I thank God for giving me a chance to live this year (Life is certainly unpredictable so anything can happen)

Second, that my family is still whole. I don't often tell my folks this, but I'm thankful that we still are together even though there were reasons in 2008 for us not to be. For that, I thank God. I am also thankful that none of us have grave health issues. What is worldly wealth when once is ill?

Third, whatever we were able to settle and do in 2008 (the positive ones), I'm thankful for that. Specifically, debts were settled even though it took us some time to pay them off. It was worth it! I thank God, my family, my friends for all the support and help.

Fourth, that I still have a job. I am not so positive when it comes to doing work believe me. Self confidence, self-esteem needs an upgrade even upto now. I always had this notion that I wouldn't last in a job because of my attitude, that I wouldn't last because of my hearing problem, because of the skills I lacked. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to help my family, myself. If it wasn't because of the job that I currently have, maybe we wouldn't have been able to finish off those debts in 2008. There are still some left but at least, some were finished.

Fifth, that my friends and loved ones are still alive (except for one who meant so much to me: my grandma Dalisay O. Herrera). She passed away last year: a few days after I started working. She took care of me and my brother during our high school and college years, and nurtured us and imparted into us some of her knowledge and skills. She was really God's angel to us. I'm thankful to God that she was with us for a long time, that she became part of my life.

Sixth, for the special people who came into my life. I felt loved for some time, but there came a time when we had to depart and go our separate ways. For those people, I thank you for coming into my life and I thank God that you came into my life.

Seventh, for people at work who make working fun and enjoyable. I wouldn't be where I am right now also if it wasn't because of them. Thank God and thank you too for helping me. :)

Last but not the least, I'm thankful that most of my wishes for last year came true! :) For this year, hmm... I'm gonna have to think of my wishes. :D